Divorce & Children

by Frank

Divorce & Children

The effects of divorce on children can be devastating because they don’t understand what’s going on. Children’s reactions to divorces are usually reactions of despair and anxiety. Sometimes, the children blame themselves for their parents’ separation. Some children feel neglected by one parent or the other because usually, one parent gets the short end of the stick and can’t be present as much as he or she would like.

Determining Who Gets Custody

In many cases, the parents resolve the custody issues long before the divorce trial. In fact, parents make the decision in 51 percent of the cases, and the mother is usually the choice in those cases. The reason being is that many mothers spend day and night with the children raising them and taking care of them, and thus they are more equipped to continue doing the same thing they were doing before the separation or divorce.┬áSometimes, the two parties cannot make amicable decisions regarding custody, and the children end up being used as pawns for one parent to strip the other parent of something precious or for the other parent to have some sort of leverage over the other one. These situations don’t play into every case, but it happens enough to whereas the courts must step in. They are supposed to take an honest look at both parents in categories such as the relationship with the child, criminology, mental and physical health, finances and so on. They are supposed to choose the parent who could best supply the child with genuine love and care.

IF both parents are unfit, then they would perhaps look at another family member or foster care in the worst scenarios. An unfit parent is a person who has done severe harm to their children, poses an extreme danger to such children, and will continue to do extreme harm if custody is awarded. In a fair court system, the accusatory party would be forced to prove the alleged harm before receiving a custody decision in his favor.

The court is supposed to make decisions that are in the children’s best interests by not awarding the children to a parent who is unfit. Unfortunately, many of the cases are complex in that manipulation and dishonesty creep into the processes. The children are sometimes used to paint a picture of unfitness where none exists, and that ends up hurting the children more in the end.

Custody issues require the help of an experienced attorney so that manipulation is minimized as much as possible. No one should ever go through this type of proceeding without someone in his or her corner. Parents who are not financially well off should seek legal aid from a compassionate attorney.

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